I was actually happy today. I have been happy before, even since Caleb died. I have been happy for my kids, for my husband and for things that I have accomplished since Caleb died. But today for the first time, I was happy for me. I posted my blog and found I have friends who really know. And as wacked out as that is, it made me happy. It's the first day since September 1, 2007, Caleb's day, that I didn't think to myself, no one will ever get, that this, is who I am now.