Tuesday, August 19, 2008

PTSD or something like it...

Proof that I have not appropriately dealt with my anxiety regarding laying on a table and having warm goo squirted on my belly while a nice lady with a wand looms over head adjusting a monitor and entering data into a computer....when asked a simple question, "How do you spell your last name?", I couldn't do it, not even on the third try. I kid you not.

Queue applause for my dear, dyslexic husband for recognizing my, how do we put this, moronic and pathetic, fear induced, feeble mindedness and correctly spelling said last name for nice wand lady.

Jesus, will it never get easy? Answer, not in a million years, ever.

Ultrasound looked good except for the fluid in the leprechauns kidneys. Shit. Go back to doctor tomorrow to find out what the fuck is up with that. Nice wand lady said everything else looked fine and that fluid was minimal. Nice wand lady also said "Odds are it's nothing." Anyone want to guess what that did for my stress level? Yeah, not a whole bunch.

I repeat, Jesus, will it never get easy? Oh yeah, not in a million years, ever.

10 comments:

charmedgirl said...

ptsd sounds like mommy-stupid. i got like that after i had the three, it got worse during my other pregnancy. the brain doesn't function well.

why didn't anyone tell us what we were opening ourselves up to when we started having/trying to have children?????? it just seems to common, those *little* things, to excuse it with, "they are all normal and they didn't know to tell us." do we just not listen with a whole ear? i don't know. maybe we just dismiss those little epithets like, " little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems," because they sound so stupid.

it never gets easy. you're right about that.

CLC said...

Oh, fuck. Why did she have to say that? You are right, it's never easy. I am praying it's nothing and that the appt. is here pronto. I am sure your stress level is through the roof. C'mon little leprechaun, stop teasing your Mommy!

Tash said...

I still have to pause a few seconds to get through things like my cell phone number.

Crap, if ever worse words were spoken: "It's probably nothing!" Thinking of you tons -- keep us informed. And no, easy is not the word I'd use here.

c. said...

Oh shit, K. Hope the fluid is nothing. You must be so worried. So sorry, babe, that you're having to deal with this. My fingers are crossed and will stay that way until you post with an update. All the best today. XO.

Cindy said...

Delurking to say that with the pregnancy after my loss, my little guy's kidneys were full of fluid at every ultrasound. Which caused us to schedule even more ultrasounds (which, of course, only freaked me out more for many many reasons)wherein the kidneys were full. The doc said it could either be that the baby simply hasn't peed yet every time we peeked at him or it could be some kind of kidney infection that is NOT harmful when detected early (by the scary ultraounds!) and is only a possibility of an issue *after* baby arrives {an issue that is easily treated by antibiotics, I might add}. I hope that helps. Hang in there, you are being so brave! You are in my thoughts.

Aunt Becky said...

Oh fuck, dude. Just what your poor addled mind needs.

Saying a prayer that this is nothing big.

Loves you.

G said...

No, easy went out the door...

K@l you and the baby are in my thoughts. My "it's nothing" thoughts.

xox
g

Ya Chun said...

Total, paralyzing PTSD.

Reese said...

I wish it was easier. We should get a free pass, dammit.

Praying the fluid is nothing. Please keep us updated...

Ange said...

Oh please .. maybe we would have been better 50 years ago when you missed a period or 2 started to grow and then had a baby being none the wiser as to what was going on inside..just crossing your fingers. Really hoping this fluid issue is nothing important. And my goodness those bloody scans its such a love/hate scenario for me too. Thinking of you.