Thursday, February 21, 2008

I'm "IT"

I've been tagged by C. So now instead of boring you with my displaced anger at the universe I will bore you with some little known trivia about self, something I know you are DYING to read all about....

Here's how it works:

1. Link to the person who tagged you, see above, Hi C! Wave, wave.

2. Post the Rules. If you are reading this you can see how I am doing just that:)

3. Share 6 non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Yikes 6 of em?? How to choose, how to choose....

4. Tag at least 3 people to carry on this exploration in self awareness

5. Be sure the people you tag know you tagged them by commenting on their blog that you have passed the flame on to them.

Okay, get out your warm jammies, pour yourself a stiff drink, put away the xanax for today, you won't need any help nodding off, be prepared to be bored and here we go!

1. Bubble Gum. I love chewing it but only until the sugar wears out. I have bought big bags of Double Bubble, sat on my bed chewing a piece until the sugar was gone, spit it out, wrapped it back in it's wrapper, put that back in the bag and taken out a new piece and done the same thing to the next piece and so on and so on and so on. I once "chewed" so much gum that the next day when I woke up I couldn't open my jaw and thought I had had a stroke, until I remembered, "Oh yea, I ate a whole bag of double bubble less than an hour."

2. Despite my aforementioned chewing skills, I am a painfully slow eater. This drives my husband, a former Marine, who follows the "eat it now taste it later" philosophy, absolutely bonkers. Once we went out to dinner and the waiter dropped his dinner on the floor just as he was serving it, I continued eating mine and even after having his whole meal recooked and redelivered to our table, he still finished before me and had to wait, again.

3. I sometimes wish that bad things, not really bad things....well okay, maybe really bad things, would happen to people who I think have it too easy and need some humilty in thier life. I, of course, feel horribly guilty after thinking these evil thoughts and then apologize profusely to the Universe for being such a pathetic, small person. The Universe then responds to my apology by making something bad, and yea really bad, happen to me. This whole life philosophy is really working out well for me don't cha think??

4. I have really old underwear. It's so old that when all the really bad shit happened in September and my mom basically moved into my house and was doing my laundry, she immediately went out and bought me 6 whole new pairs. I think this may be because she didn't want me to live out that old adage about being in an accident and having on old, ripped, dirty underwear when your rescuers come. First, my underwear is old and ripped, but I always wear it clean, and second, despite having received 6 whole new pairs, I didn't throw any of the old ones out and I still wear them...just 6 days less often now. Also, when the really bad shit DID happen, no one really cared what my underwear looked there.

5. I think my house is haunted. I've never told anyone that. But I swear there are spirits who live here. Things that make me believe this are; Whenever I do something say, yell at my kids for no good reason, some other thing, a physically painful thing, will happen to me. I'll run into a corner of the wall hard, something heavy will drop onto me and hurt really bad, slam my finger/hand/foot/body part into the door etc..Also I always feel as though I see someone out of the corner of my eye and then when I look, it's as if I just missed seeing someone leaving. Or I'll think one of my kids has walked into a room behind me and I'll start talking to them only to turn and find out no one is there. Weird. Anyone want to come visit???

6. I still have my "list" of famous people I am allowed to sleep with, despite being married, should the opportunity present itself. Who's on the "list" you might be asking....hmmm well maybe one day I'll tell you, but it aint today! HA. Although, recently, despite our "baby making" efforts, my husband asked how he could get on my "list". I told him, "You are honey, you're on my "other list"...the "shit" one":)

Now, if you're still awake here's who I am TAGGING:


Have fun girls!!!

P.S. Seriously, Is anyone else missing spell check??????

P.P.S. Has anyone heard from Rosalind? I haven't heard from her in weeks....sigh

Edited to add: Miss Popularity, aka Jennifer, has already been tagged, so I am also tagging Julia, cuz I don't want to fuck this whole game up....

Edited to literally add Ashleigh cuz I WILL tag 3 who have not been tagged before...


Ashleigh said...

we're all freaks aren't we? i love it!

c. said...

HILARIOUS, K. Really HILARIOUS! Fall asleep? oYu must be effin' joking, babe. How could I fall asleep to this freak show????

Coggy said...

LMAO here!!!

Now I find you've tagged two of the same people I have!!! I'm not retagging they're just going to have to get tagged twice ;oP

Yeah you should come look in my underwear draw I have v old undies in there too, but they're always clean!

missing_one said...

I totally have those same feelings about wanting some people to get what's coming to them...and then the circular logic about the universe and all....

thanks for the fun!

Amy said...

You are way too funny! #1, is a must gum loses it's flavor too quickly! #3 I am in agreeance with you on that one! But then again kharma has a way of kicking my but too! #5, I'd love to stay in your house! Have you ever talked to the ghost?

Antigone said...

Not only should you be wearing presentable underwear in case of an accident but also in case you meet one of those celebrities.

Becky said...

I tend to be fairly level-headed, but I swear to you that my brother's old house was haunted. The house was ancient, and had been the home of a famous medium back in the 1800's. Occasionally he'd ask me to house sit when he'd go out of town for business, and whenever I did, I'd always run (nearly screaming) away.

It was freaky.

G said...

haha, how old is very old? I do my own laundry because I dont want my husband (of 8 years) to see my very old undies.

The gum thing... that's just weird. hahaha Are you in a trance when you do it? Somehow I visualize a lady sitting in her bed with a bag of gum, cross legged in a trance. Maybe rocking back and forth a big and humming?

Rosalind said...

Hey You

I had a really good time reading this...I too have that 'List' wink! wink!

I'm still alive and kicking just really down..This has been a pretty shitty month...It crossed my mind to post a few times but I preferred to veg-out..

Thanks so much for remembering me..It may sound silly but I sometimes don't think I really belong here or anywhere for that matter so I don't think it makes a difference rather I post or (IRL) call... I could pretty easily just fade and no one would even notice..

look at me rambling on..I guess I should have posted ah?

Again Thanks

Julia said...

Thanks. Tomorrow, promise.

On my list? George Clooney. I kinda don't feel like adding other people, you know? My friend, though, won't tell me who is on her list because she says it includes real people (as in, friends). Which, of course, makes me more curious. I think I need to get her thoroughly drunk and ask again.

CLC said...

Who's on your list? Please share! That should be the new game. List the celebrity exemptions from your marriage!

niobe said...

Now this is a truly great list.

a- said...

You tagged me? Ha! I think you even pinged me to tell me that you did it. Do you see how out of space I've been? You'll have to wait for my list chic but it'll be entertaining at the very least.

P.S. Good to "see" Rosalind. :)

Rob G said...

Too funny! You need to copy these lists and print them out. Save them for the future!