tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post6509182143765304776..comments2023-11-05T02:21:55.387-08:00Comments on this is not what i had planned: Funky Townk@laklyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05366772609212990882noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-10544279401245412852009-08-17T06:04:35.862-07:002009-08-17T06:04:35.862-07:00Still trying to catch up after vacation on my read...Still trying to catch up after vacation on my reading & commenting. I was like you when I made the decision to stop IF treatment -- another pregnancy, I felt I could do -- but doing the treatments I would need to even try to get there? I just couldn't do that any more. <br /><br />"And in the end it didn't feel like a choice, it felt more like resignation." Yep. <br /><br />Sending you some hugs from me too.loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-4520705295154926982009-08-15T10:18:20.363-07:002009-08-15T10:18:20.363-07:00It's really complicated, all this grief and ho...It's really complicated, all this grief and hope and life stuff. Understandable, though it doesn't make it any easier. <br /><br />I made those jokes when I was pg, how I was happy this would be my last pg, how they weren't even born yet and already causing trouble. I want to go back and smack myself. <br /><br />Just take your time as you wade through all this. You have been a great friend and an amazing support -- now it's your turn to lean a little more. <br /><br />Thinking of you, with love.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-39780471518631870242009-08-14T20:46:27.519-07:002009-08-14T20:46:27.519-07:00I think we're all in a bit of a funky town! S...I think we're all in a bit of a funky town! Sending some big ole' hugs your way via the funky town express!Shannon Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03288990166879426608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-22721451406255420152009-08-14T17:08:02.048-07:002009-08-14T17:08:02.048-07:00Call me your funk sister. I am good at hiding it i...Call me your funk sister. I am good at hiding it in IRL, but I still feel sad. Alot. Yet grateful and happy for Denis. It's a weird place to be. <br /><br />I was talking about it with my Mom a bit today and she told me how her friend's first baby died on Dec. 14th (weird, I know) 39 years ago this coming Dec. (I knew she lost her first child, but I didn't realize we shared the date!) And you know what? She's still not over it. She still tears up. She's hone forward with life and incorporated it, but she's still sad. And that, I think, is what gets me to this funk. This is never f-ing over.CLChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08030787972960755420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-52053502085079104342009-08-14T11:53:16.130-07:002009-08-14T11:53:16.130-07:00I love you and I'm sorry you're hurting.I love you and I'm sorry you're hurting.Aunt Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-30305246253770005262009-08-14T11:26:51.252-07:002009-08-14T11:26:51.252-07:00these kind of amorphous funks really suck. I am in...these kind of amorphous funks really suck. I am in one now too, and it's not raw, raging sadness, and it is not easy to shake off. Yet it is totally understandable.<br /><br />Wow, two years. F. Missing Caleb too...Ya Chunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816837461370619194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-65793658017078908492009-08-14T09:50:20.721-07:002009-08-14T09:50:20.721-07:00Comments like that do sting... I feel like I'v...Comments like that do sting... I feel like I've been PG for 2y and I know there are things I havent done but when people bring attn to it... Well, like you said, it stings...<br /><br />9m... It seems like yesterday I was reading about your pregnancy and his birth. I can imagine how bittersweet this is for you.<br /><br />I always am excited to see you in my blog reader... We will always be here to read what you write when you feel the need to write it.Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17681333723382119281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-28985079394809219352009-08-14T08:46:12.299-07:002009-08-14T08:46:12.299-07:00Yup. This current pregnancy will 99.99% certain be...Yup. This current pregnancy will 99.99% certain be my last - whether it ends in life or death ... and it's truly not I imagined ending my family making. Which is just an egocentric way of saying, I understand K.Fireflyforeverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15290560217994184778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-45009271662805415752009-08-14T05:06:31.369-07:002009-08-14T05:06:31.369-07:00jesus, i went to the village "family fun fest...jesus, i went to the village "family fun fest" this past weekend, as i did last year at this time, as i did two years ago...painfully hugely pregnant. i don't think i will ever go to that fucking "fun fest" without seeing my ugly pregnant self sitting on the borders on the grass, squirming, wanting to go home, knowing i HAD to go, you know, for the kids. this year was fun, as the kids are now 4.5 and able to do so many things...we are moving on as a family...<br /><br />me? i am trying to move on, gracefully, thoughtfully. you know how i've come to that decision, the one about another baby or not. it was not mine to make, or i'd be pregnant again right now. oh well is all i can think. i never wanted four kids either, my pregnancy with paige was quite fucking miserable, and yeah, it's a total mind-fuck. <br /><br />that being said, i read all of you ladies that birthed the one after, and i think to myself, that wasn't the cure-all either. i'm no better or worse off, really. we've all got our share of shit and the fact that i didn't get the "do-over" (which i know isn't)...it's just what happened. my baby died, i couldn't get pregnant again. that's it. the thoughts, though? the what-ifs and all that? still there. just like i just read for you, and you HAVE the baby after. i don't think it's ever over. we know that, don't we?<br /><br />i want to just sleep/bury head until "it's" over too...but i'm never sure what IT is, and i also am terrified of coming-to and feeling like shit about how i missed "everything." i felt the same way about paige's pregnancy...and, yeah. fuck me. we can't miss anything else, kal.charmedgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12317107200577724625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-40034882157380632112009-08-14T04:59:21.875-07:002009-08-14T04:59:21.875-07:00I'm so sorry. I wish it was less complicated....I'm so sorry. I wish it was less complicated. Everything you say makes perfect sense to me.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09211028670642739808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-62708576422044877642009-08-14T00:48:38.279-07:002009-08-14T00:48:38.279-07:00We're here. We don't always know what to ...We're here. We don't always know what to say to each other, but we're here and we care.Rivalenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16844228169171090808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4335150632431753345.post-82067003868295789472009-08-14T00:44:21.683-07:002009-08-14T00:44:21.683-07:00Still reading, still supporting - whatever town yo...Still reading, still supporting - whatever town you are in.Hope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.com